So, the plans your Teen had for 2020 have fallen through and by now they are inevitably feeling disappointed, over-whelmed or plain 'stuck'! Or, perhaps your Teen hasn't made any plans yet and you are becoming increasingly worried about their near future.
There are so many reasons why this is becoming a major trend these days and one of the main issues I deal with as a 'Student Coach'. It could be they:-
...didn't get the exams results they had hoped for.
...haven't received a place on a course they really wanted.
... have previously started a Uni or Tafe course and decided it's now not for them.
... or just simply they 'don't know' what to do next!
If this sounds like your son or daughter, join the ever-growing band of concerned parents who feel the same way!
- It's not our job to 'fix life' for them, we need to see ourselves in more of in 'fab facilitator' role.
-When we worry and get overly-concerned, our teen picks up on it and may think we have stopped 'believing' in them.
-Our kids are facing a future very different world from the one we grew up in, but we can't hold onto the old idea of what our teens 'should' be doing based on how we did things. We have to stop looking backward, so we can help our kids move forward!
-Just because our children 'don't know' what their next steps are, it doesn't mean they 'are lost'. It simply means they are not sure at this moment in time and that's okay.
-If you're getting a 'don't know' response, you may be asking the wrong question. I recommend you stop asking 'What job do you want to do'? as it really is no longer relevant which all the new jobs being created all the time.
-The old saying is so true: 'If what you're doing isn't working, try something different to get different results'! Here's an idea that works:-
(Remember, it's not 'your plan' for them, but one you are collaborating on to help them create their plan for themselves) Here's how:-
1.AGREE ON A SUITABLE TIME AND PLACE where you can be together and say you would love to help them 'brain-storm' ideas. and make 2020 a great year for them. This can't be rushed, so make sure the timing is right won't you! (I'm assuming we have all learnt by this stage not to discuss anything important with our teens when they are are tired or hungry or just got home!)
3. FIND AN APPROPRIATE PLACE. How about taking them out for lunch, or a coffee or go for a walk? The whole idea of this plan is to help them to think 'outside the box'.
4. START WITH OPEN QUESTIONS LIKE THESE:
'If you could wave a magic wand, what would you want 2020 to be like for you?
'How about jotting down all the ideas you have ever had and then perhaps you can be clearer about the ones you like the most.'
What would you see, feel and hear to know 2020 was a good year for you?
'What are some of things you would like to achieve by the end of the year'? (Examples: any type of training; skills-building; becoming a coffee maestro; travel to your favourite destinations; meet new people; find 'your tribe; start up a small business you have always wanted to do')
'If you want to re-apply for that course at the end of year, what are some of the things you can do this year which can go towards helping you achieve that'?
5. REMIND THEM that sometimes things don't work out for a reason and they need to take a different approach .
6. TRY NOT TO PUT THE 'DAMPNERS' OF THEIR IDEAS. This is simply 'brain-storming' ideas to get them inspired and moving away from the head-space of 'I don't know' thinking.
7. DO 'THE 2020 PLAN' IN STAGES. My suggestion at this point it to leave the 2020 plan alone .Organize another time to help them go through the 'nitty-gritty' of your first draft of their plan. You never know, once they feel inspired and excited again about this year, they may actively seek your help!!
8. FOCUS ON 'PLAN A' I hear way too many students talking at such a young age about putting together a 'Plan B' in case their 'Plan A' doesn't come off!! If there is something they really want to do, I say put everything you've got into Plan A. That's what it will take to be a success in anything they want to do! (They have plenty of time to think about a Plan B later on, but not now).
Good luck with this! I know how challenging it can be when it's your own kids, so iIf you would like some assistance to help your teen create a plan for 2020, I would love to help! Remember, I coach students remotely or face to face, so there are lots of options and we can find something that suits your Teen. I also have a great coaching package called 'Getting on-Track' for young people which gives them the confidence, clarify and direction they need to move forward.
|Tags: finding their way next steps clarify next steps creating a plan of action MOTIVATION finding direction pathway profiling|